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  • Writer's pictureKia

It's a Wrap for Me!

Wrap it Up!

How y’all doing out there? Hope you’re well or getting there. Welcome back to another dose of my unfiltered thoughts. The last week went by rather quickly for me. I feel like I just churned out a post two days ago. But anyway… Today’s topic is somewhat of a controversial issue. Not necessarily for me right now, but I’m close to the subject matter. So here goes…

Picture this…

You and your boyfriend/girlfriend, boo thang, cut buddy, FWB (Friends with Benefits), etc. decide to meet up for a session of fun. (And you know what kind of fun I’m referring to) Y’all are getting hot and heavy and clothes start getting subtracted. Foreplay turned the heat up even more and it’s time to slide in. But wait! Where is the condom?

Excuses, Excuses

Now, here comes all the EXCUSES as to why one isn’t needed, right?

“I’m clean.”

“I can just pull out.”

“It feels better without one.”

“I’m allergic to latex.”

“You ain’t on the pill?”

Blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH!

Uh uh, I don’t think so!

First things first, yo ass better be clean! As a matter of fact, run me those test papers, boo! This is the one time it’s okay in my book to come back with negative results. Otherwise, with or without a condom, it’s gonna be a ‘no’ for me dawg. (Kanye shrug)

Second of all, that pull out bull-ish ain’t fool-proof. There are plenty of fools that pulled the okey-doke on somebody with that and then had one on the way (BABY ON BOARD!). I’m good, playa! You can have that. And don’t give me that, “condoms aren’t 100% either” crap either. Any intelligent person knows the only 100% way to not get pregnant (post-hysterectomy removal not included) is to not have sex. There won’t be another baby Jesus, so immaculate conception is NOT happening.

Third, I’m sure it does feel better without one. But have you heard the phrase all good things must come to an end? Like when you get that itch you just CAN’T scratch and it won’t go away EVER? Or when that fire and desire turns into a fiery feeling from the inside out? Be careful how you proceed, boo. Because you might have her calling you “daddy” now, but you could be called daddy for a whole different reason after 40 weeks. And I definitely don’t wanna hear about you being allergic to latex. There are other types of condoms besides latex, so NEXT! Try that with someone else.

Make it Make Sense

And last, but certainly not least, is the main course of this post. Why do I have to digest, insert, inject or WHATEVER some made-man object into my body because you don’t want to cover your baby maker? Do people not understand the long-term risks we are putting on our bodies just for a few hours, or minutes depending on the person, of fun? Just the minor possible side effects are nausea/vomiting, headache, spotting or bleeding between menstrual (Hold up, I don’t like having it AT ALL and there’s a chance this will happen when it AIN’T on?!?!?! HELL NAW!), painful menstruation, weight change, breast tenderness, acne, abdominal pain, ANXIETY and DEPRESSION!!!!!! But get this, serious risks include blood clots, stroke, and heart attack. All because IT FEELS BETTER WITHOUT IT?!?!? And that’s just from the pill. Can you imagine injecting a liquid version of these hormones straight into your blood stream? Or how about inserting a piece of plastic and/or metal in my arm or deeper inside my body, like my uterus, just to get my rocks off because someone’s son doesn’t want to put a jimmy hat on.

The sad part about us, as ladies (Yes, I’m including myself because I, too, have been on the pill), is that we will willingly use birth control because, let’s face it, we are not all trying to have children, or not right now anyway. We do it to protect ourselves from unwanted pregnancy, when it isn’t 100% pregnancy proof and if you have any other health issue, it may cause one of the above mentioned side effects or could cause the pill to be defective. All of that and it still doesn’t prevent STDs/STIs after all of that.

So what you’re saying is, I have to remember to take this pill (or go to the doctor to be shot, or get this foreign object put in my body), not take meds for any serious health issues (ex: seizures or migraines), not take any other medications that can cause the BC meds to not work properly (ex: certain antibiotics) when it still doesn’t prevent me from getting Chlamydia, Herpes, or HIV and there is still a chance I could get pregnant and/or have a heart attack?!?!?! All because you don’t want to put a condom on… Make it make sense please.

Work Smarter, Not Harder

Now, I know it may sound one-sided. However, I’m not arguing on this because I’m bitter or have been burned or even as a feminist. I’m an equal opportunity roaster. Not all women can be trusted either. However, I do believe in working smarter not harder. I’d rather either of us put a condom on (There are female condoms too) than all the risk I’m potentially doing to my body. And as someone who has suffered ramifications from one or more of the aforementioned issues (Although, one is enough), I personally don’t want to nor am I able to participate in the birth control crusade. I’m simply wondering why I gotta be the one put in harm’s way for both us to feel good?

My ultra-religious folks will automatically say you wouldn’t have to worry about all of that if you were abstinent until marriage; Sex outside of marriage is a sin. This we know. And while I agree that I should/should have waited to be carried through the threshold of my marriage bedroom, it is too late now and I’m not always as strong as I’d like to be.

***** I am in no way, shape, or form advising that women NOT use whatever BC method they decide to choose. It is their body and we all have the right to do as we please. I just had a random thought process after someone in one of my groups asked our body’s reaction to BC. *****

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